Family & Relationship Issues: some resources

resources compiled by David Luke & Peter F. Whyte, 10 Dec 2006, last revised 22 Feb 2009 (see items flagged )

Family issues and the whole matter of human sexuality is big news, and has been for most of 2006. This page aims to provide some resources that examine the issues from a biblical and Christian perspective. Although our church Doctrinal Statement does not address these issues in specific terms, there are two sections which undergird our belief and practice in this area:

The Scriptures: The verbal inspiration and total inerrancy of the Holy Scriptures of the Old and New Testament as originally given by God; their sole-sufficiency and final authority in all matters of faith and practice.

Christian Behaviour: The responsibility of all believers to obey and serve the LORD and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives; the duty of each church to exercise godly discipline in a loving and caring fashion.

Neither David nor I have read all the material on these sites, but what we have read enables us to commend them to you for diligent study. We believe that these resources are generally consistent with these two principles.

Over time fresh articles of interest and help will be added to this page as we become aware of them.

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Articles & books

Here are some articles that are recent and topical. They deal with specific news items, but aim to bring biblical principles to bear on them, so though the specific news may be older, the application of the principles in the situations will be of help as you think through the issues involved. There are also reviews of books that deal with this topic.

Voddie Baucham, What He Must Be . . . If He Wants to Marry My Daughter (Crossway Books, 2009). Read Crossway blog article (19 Feb 2009), and all of chapter 1. Crossway have also compiled summaries of and links to reviews by quite a few bloggers who have commented on the book: 3 Mar, 5 Mar & 9 Mar 2009.

Ann Benton, Aren't They Lovely When They're Asleep:Lessons in unsentimental parenting (Christian Focus, 2007) ISBN 9781857928761. Publisher's page with sample chapter in PDF format.

——, Teenagers: Wisdom for Parents (IVP, 2009). £7.99. ISBN 978-1-84474-354-4. Publisher's Web page including part of the extract published in Evanglicals Now, March 2009 (p. 15).

Iain D. Campbell, “On Being a Family” in reformation21

Michael A. G. Haykin and Victoria J. Haykin, The Christian Lover: The Sweetness of Love and Marriage in the Letters of Believers, Reformation Trust Publishing, 2009. ISBN 13: 978-1-56769-111-5.
The correspondents include such notables as Martin Luther (writing to his wife Katie) and John Calvin (expressing to friends his grief over the death of his wife Idelette). Lesser-known writers include Helmuth von Moltke, who wrote to his wife as he faced execution at the hands of the Nazis in 1945.
The contents range from courtship communications to proposals of marriage to fnal words before dying, but most have to do with the events of everyday life. This book is a celebration of marriage, an intimate window into the thoughts of men and women in love with both God and one another.
[Reviews: Tim Challies (23 Jan 2009, including short extracts); Deborah Finnamore (Ligonier Ministries Blog, 12 Jan 2009).]

John M. Frame, ‘Nursing Homes and the Fifth Commandment’, Christian Culture, Aug 2002, 2
“Is it ever legitimate to put an aged relative in a nursing home? Is such a decision ever in keeping with the fifth commandment?” This article seeks to show what the Bible has to say about caring for parents and identifies six principles that Christians ought to consider when carrying out their family responsibilities for parents or older relatives.

Rebecca Jones, Does Christianity Squash Women? A Woman Looks at Womanhood,
reviewed by Mary K. Mohler in reformation21, February 2006.

John MacArthur, “God’s Plan for the Gay Agenda” Grace To You.
We commend this forthright, honest and realistic article that sets out what God has said about homosexuality in all ages. It is reasoned and reasonable, blending the biblical combination of clarity and compassion in a spirit of true biblical love. It will clarify the issues whether you are a follower of Christ or an unbeliever seeking to know what the Bible really teaches about the practice. John MacArthur graciously points to biblical hope for all who struggle with such temptation and sin.

Albert Mohler is a seasoned evangelical commentator on cultural issues (as well as being President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary at Louisville, Kentucky). Although he often deals with American issues, increasingly family and gender issues are global phenomena, so his comments are certainly applicable and relevant in an Irish setting. Here are some of his recent articles that you should find stimulating, informative, and helpful.

Albert Mohler [info],
“The Ties That No Longer Bind? Marriage and the Virtue of Loyalty”, Albert Mohler Commentary, 9 Aug 2006.

——, “A New Path to Theological Liberalism? Wayne Grudem on Evangelical Feminism”, Albert Mohler Commentary, 23 Oct 2006.

——, “The Credibility Question”, Albert Mohler Blog, 1 Dec 2006.
[Extract: Is Christianity in America losing its credibility? Oliver “Buzz” Thomas obviously thinks so. In his view, Christianity is losing credibility because so many Christians believe that homosexuality is a sin. He doesn’t mince words. In an op-ed column published in USA Today, Thomas (a minister and attorney) set out his case . . .. Mohler gives a helpful and robust critique of Thomas’s views that make clear the essential issues at stake.]

——, “When the Gender Line Isn’t Clear?”, Albert Mohler Blog 4 Dec 2006.

——, Are Yes and No: Both “Living Options?” -- Not When the Bible Answers the Question, Albert Mohler Blog, 5 Dec 2006.
[Extract: The Conservative Jewish movement is poised to redefine its position on the moral status of homosexuality, especially as related to the ordination of homosexual rabbis and the blessing of homosexual unions.]
There is a follow-up article “No, No, and Yes -- Take Your Choice?”, Albert Mohler Blog, 8 Dec 2006, where Dr Mohler comments on the outcome which takes three contradictory positions and allows local synagogues to choose between three options.

——, “What Does Pop Music Have Against Marriage?’, Albert Mohler Blog, 27 Feb 2007. (Extract: William Weir of The Hartford Courant asks a very interesting question. What does pop music have against marriage? The central institution of human social life is largely missing from the musical scene, and positive references to marriage are virtually non-existent. Given the influence of pop music, what does this say about marriage in American culture?)

——, “A Sit-In at the Altar?”, Albert Mohler Blog, 6 Dec 2006.
[Extract: It seems that some heterosexual couples are refusing to get married, claiming that it would be unjust to marry while same-sex couples are “denied” the same right.]

——, “A Cry From the Heart of a Generation -- The Pain of Divorce”, Albert Mohler Blog, 1 Mar 2007.
[Extract: Kenneth Lowe is a young man with a message -- and a rather stark message at that. He has written a powerful essay that serves as an indictment of his parents’ generation. The issue is divorce and the emotion is intense.]

——, “Is Your Baby Gay? What If You Could Know? What If You Could Do Something About It?”, Albert Mohler Blog, 2 Mar 2007.
[Extract: What if you could know that your unborn baby boy is likely to be sexually attracted to other boys? Beyond that, what if hormonal treatments could change the baby's orientation to heterosexual? Would you do it? Some scientists believe that such developments are just around the corner.]

——, “Does Marriage Matter?” , Albert Mohler Blog, 15 Jan 2008. Mohler examines the answer Bonnie Eslinger gave in her Newsweek “My Turn” column Yes to Love, No to Marriage (14 Jan 2008) where she writes: of choosing love but insists that she has absolutely no need of marriage. "I am a 42-year-old woman who has lived life mostly on my own terms," she explains. "I have never sought a husband and have still experienced intense, affirming love. I have explored the world and myself and sought understanding, knowledge and a sense of how I can best contribute. Ten years ago I left a New York career to return to California and pursue a writer's life."
... read or listen to a radio program discussing the issues>>>

——, “A Marriage Debate Worth Watching”, Albert Mohler Blog, 22 Jan 2008 (which deals with Stephanie Coontz's essay for CATO Institute entitled ‘The Future of Marriage’).

——, “Marriage and the Glory of God”, Albert Mohler Blog, 2 Apr 2008.

——, What Makes Abortion Plausible? What Makes Abortion Unthinkable?, Albert Mohler Blog, 6 part series: part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six (23–30 Jan 2009. Edited transcripts of a message preached by R. Albert Mohler, Jr. for "Sanctity of Human Life Sunday" on 18 Jan 2009.

Russell D Moore, “After Patriarchy, What? Why Egalitarians Are Winning the Evangelical Gender Debate”, reformation21, 2006.

——, Chastity In The Church: Are We Getting It Right?, Albert Mohler Program, 9 Jan 2006, guest hosted by Dr Moore; Guest: Dawn Eden, Catholic journalist, and author of The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On. Read Dawn Eden’s blog, The Dawn Patrol.

Martha Peace, Damsels in Distress: Biblical Solutions to Problems Women Face
reviewed by Liz Griffin in reformation21, November 2006.

Edith Schaeffer, “What is a Family”, The Highway, May 2003.

——, What is a Family? (London: Hodder & Stoughton, 1978)

Trevor Spratt, ‘Child abuse and the church’ This article first appeared in Frontiers, 4.2 (Spring 2000):17-21, and is used with permission.

Derek Thomas, Ligon Duncan, and Brad Mercer, ‘Men and Women After God's Heart: The Fellowship of the Ring.’ A series of sermons on marriage and the family preached at First Presbyterian Church, Jackson, Mississippi. (Derek Thomas formerly served as minister in Stranmillis Road Evangelical Presbyterian Church, Belfast.)

Gordon J. Wenham, ‘The Old Testament Attitude to Homosexuality’, Expository Times 102 (1991): 259-363.

Lauren Winner, Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity
(Grand Rapids, MI: Brazos, 2006)
reviewed by Laura C Miguelez in reformation21, May 2007.